God has gifted every Christian to be a person of influence

The past several weeks, I have been struck by the silence in my home. No, my home has not reached the “empty nest” stage (YET!) however, there are no longer infant cooing sounds, toddler tantrum and truck noises echoing through out. We are living in the reality of a significant change in our home/homeschool and it has been quite evident as our oldest, Amanda, is now an adult (18) and in her Senior year at home.

Amanda and I

In between, ACT testing(s), transcripts and college applications, my heart has been reflecting on one main thought–the realization, that God has gifted my daughter to be a person of influence! For all of my Christian walk, I have believed that all Christians are given various gifts by God for His Glory and purpose, yet, often I have neglected to transfer that thinking toward my own children. If I truly believe that God has gifted every Christian to be a person of influence (which I do!)  and my dear sweet Amanda is a Christian, then logically, I can conclude that God has gifted her to be His person of influence…in the path He has called her to…in the college choice He places on her heart….

And this my dear sisters, is a difficult area for me to wrap my brain around! I am experiencing a huge faith walk right now, as we talk through and pray for her decisions.

Recently, God brought to mind a poem I read years ago in the Purpose Driven Life…it spoke volumes to me this week, and I thought I would share it with you…may you be mindful of its truths in the relationships you have with your own children.

Love Deanne

You are who you are for a reason.
Your’e part of an intricate plan.
Your’e a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God’s special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You’re just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind,
And they bear the Master’s seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you’d grow.

You are who your are for a reason.
Youv’e been formed by the Master’s rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!.

 

Sweet 16….alas, sweet 18!

Two years ago, I wrote this for my sweet Amanda who turned 16…and today, we celebrated her 18th birthday! I have been in awe of God’s working in her life over the past 18 years, but especially the past 2. She is a delight and joy to be around! I look forward to our relationship as sisters in Christ growing more deeply over the years…but now a look back

Sweet 16

 Today is a very special day in our family! Our little “munchie” is 16 today…and with the chronological changes, comes emotional changes, relationship changes and especially life style changes!

 As I reflect back on the past 16 years, I am in awe of God’s mercy in my life, that is being reflected in Amanda’s life. Manuel and I were not Believers during the first several years of our marriage, nor during Amanda’s first 5 years of life. Although we loved her greatly, we were still very selfish people. When Amanda was 5 years old, Manuel and I hit rock bottom. So much so, that I asked him to leave. It was a very difficult time in our lives, one that still brings tears as I remember those days…as Manuel was leaving, Amanda went outside crying, and asked him, “Daddy, will we ever get to see you again? Can I come visit you like I visit our old dog?”

Those simple words from the mouth of an innocent child…brought Manuel to his knees—seeking restoration for our marriage. By the grace of God, within a month, we were led to a local contemporary Church that ministered greatly to our needs…We received love, when we were unlovable, grace when we were ungraceful, and mercy when we didn’t deserve mercy.  Praise His Holy Name! As a family we have enjoyed a “wild ride” with God ever since…He has moved mightily in our lives, given us love, grace, mercy and forgiveness and brought restoration of our marriage relationship as well as the relationship we have with Amanda and Jackson.

Joel 2:25 tells us that God will restore the years the locust have stolen and my family is living proof! He has fully and amazingly restored the years that were stolen from my early marriage and daughter’s younger years…and I praise Him for His grace and mercy!

 I have a very special surprise planned for Amanda! As a teen and young adult, my dream was to have a Lane Cedar Chest. I had a small box (chest) that had been built by my great grandfather. Although it was special, I dreamed of owning a beautiful cedar chest.
After Jackson was born (almost 13 years ago) Manuel asked me what did I want more than anything else….my heart immediately went to the coveted Cedar Chest….I shared with Manuel my deepest desires from my youth—and he surprised me with a gorgeous Lane Cedar Chest!! With great anticipation, I am presenting Amanda with the Cedar Chest! It is my prayer that Amanda will cherish the Cedar Chest as I have and will begin to set aside her own treasures, for her home and family to come!

~~~and Amanda was/is thrilled with the cedar chest! She has a variety of  items stashed away for her future.

May God bless you, Amanda, as you look toward the future..

Watching Women

enjoy this repost of an article I had on my original website..I am a bit swamped with our local homeschool convention details, but wanted to add something for your reading pleasure. I covet any and all prayers for our convention (where my husband and I serve as speaker coordinators) Love Deanne

 

As Godly women, wives and mothers, interceding for our children is THE greatest activity we can do for them. As Christian moms, our greatest desire should be for children who surrender their life to Christ and continue to follow Him faithfully through out their lives. Achieving this comes at a great cost….of utmost importance is the recognition that this cost our Jesus His everything…even His very life and for us. And as Christian Moms, it will also cost us our all. We may not be asked to give our physical lives for our children, but often, we are called to give up other aspects of our lives for a season as we seek to raise children for the Lord. What sort of things may we be asked to give up? When I look back over my life, during different seasons, God has called me to give up a lucrative professional career, He has called me to give up financial comfort (from my career), He has even asked that I give up sleep as I have cared for young ones through the night. Ah, but His calling, His questioning of me, has provided amazing opportunities for His blessing upon my life. The blessing that is birthed from obedience to His will in my life. We must be intentional when it comes to our children…intentional in teaching them His Word, intentional in leading them to gratitude and worship for His very Being, and intentional in praying for them. In her precious book, “A Mother’s Heart”, Jean Fleming writes, “The best possible parenting cannot produce children who are spiritually responsive to God….” It takes so much more! Yes, we are called to be the very best Mom we can be….A Mom who will teach her children the ways and worship of the Lord, but there is so much more that is God’s plan for us as Moms! Proverbs 31:27 instructs us to “watch over the way of (our) household”. The fascinating word here used for watch is so much more than our English language portrays. The word, “Watch” encompasses the idea of a “leaning forward; peering; observing. The root includes the idea of “a narrow watching; to keep guard and to hedge around.” Elizabeth George expands on this idea of watching, in her book, “A Woman after God’s own heart”. In it she quotes, Derek Kidner who writes, “(to) watch is used through out the Bible to describe people who were posted to report the first sign of God’s answer to prayers” (1 Kings 18:41-44) Watching our children encompasses SO MUCH MORE than the idea of simply knowing what they are doing at any given time! It even encompasses far more than playing a game with them, reading Bible stories to them or even screening their friends and relationships!

 As Christian moms, we must seek God on our children’s behalf and we must be always looking for answers to those prayer requests! We must accept the mission to watch our children…watching them according to the original Hebrew intent of the word. Where do we begin this mission to watch over children? We must step up our prayer life! For me, to achieve this “watchman mission” I have found that I must write out specific prayers for my children and then be on the lookout for God’s answers! When God answers, I write (journal) His responses in my journal. By doing this, I am able to look back and see specific answers to needs my children had and I am able to see a little bit of the big picture that I sense He has for them. Jean Fleming shares, “The goal of parenting is not for us to decide what we want our children to become and then ruthlessly teach, train, squeeze, badger, and cajole them into that mold. Instead we must recognize God has already designed them.” She confirms what is spoken in Proverbs 22:6 (amplified version) Train up a child in the way he must go (according to his individual bents and gifts) and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” So often in homeschooling circles, we use this verse to solidify our homeschool decision or even to discipline our child…but the original Hebrew meaning again, lends a completely different perspective! Our prayers should not be for God to create in our child(ren) the child (ren) that we feel they must become. Our prayers should be prayers of humility, prayers seeking God for HIS will and His purpose in their lives, through out their lives.

What does this look like?

For me, it begins with PRAISE—I praise God for His hand on my children. I praise Him for creating them with the specific gifting, personalities, learning styles and yes, even temperaments He has given to them. (Psalm 139:13-16)

 After I praise, I will PREPARE my heart to receive my children as HE created them . I ask God to enlarge my heart with love for them. If I am struggling in anyway being a loving mother to one child, I humble myself and ask God to work a miracle in my heart, to fill my heart to overflowing for that child (I share more of my prayer struggles in Treasure’s of Psalm 119 Bible study) and to grant me a greater acceptance of a child I may be struggling with at any specific time.

PURPOSELY ask God to work HIS purposes in my child and ask Him to show me the way to guide my child into this purpose. This includes seeking God for which curriculum to use with each child, seeking God to show me how to reach a specific learning need and even which activities each child should involve themselves in (music lessons, work, swim team etc)

PEACE…As I pursue God’s will and purpose for my children, I experience HIS peace, His peace knowing I am leading, training and discipling my children according to His plan for them (Isaiah 26:3; Philippians 4:7)

 For more thoughts on being a Watching Woman, I encourage you to read “A Mother’s Heart” by Jean Fleming. This book was given to me as a young, new homeschooling Mom and although it is not specifically written to homeschool Moms, it is a book of great encouragement and hope for all moms. Also, highly recommended is Sally Clarkson’s Educating the Whole Hearted Child and Season’s of a Mother’s Heart. Both of these books, present encouragement and hope as we raise children for the purposes of the Lord

Lifestyle Discipleship

God never intended discipleship of children to be difficult or complicated or burdensome or a matter for the experts. I think He meant it to be as simple as a loving personal relationship, guided and infused with spiritual intent, flushed out through a living example.

Sally Clarkson, Seasons of a Mother’s Heart.

            When we view discipleship as a nature extension of our roles as parents, a tremendous man made burden is removed. Biblical discipleship is essentially an extension of WHO you are-the person that God has created you to be and the individual call that He has placed on your life. God did not intend for you to rise up “cookie cutter Christian children” anymore than He has called you to be just like every other Christian in His body.  In 1 Corinthians, we read, “The body is a unit, though made of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body….in fact, God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be.” (I Corinthians 12:12,18 ) and in Romans 12:6, “We have different gifts according to the grace God has given to us“. God, through His grace, has placed a specific gifting and call on each one of us individuals and this I truly believe, extends to our marriage and family relationships. For example, God has a specific call on my life and He has also given my husband a calling. However, God has placed us together as husband and wife so that our God given calling may be enhanced. And as we train our children in the Lord’s calling on our lives, we are able to see the gifting, strengths, and desires God has given to them. This does not mean that we are to raise our children according to our calling…Instead  I believe this means we are to serve the Lord where we are called and gifted, bringing our children alongside us. As our children serve with us, prayerfully and by God’s grace we will gain insight into God’s calling.

      Have you ever considered the idea that God’s grace is the KEY to our fulfilling our call in the discipleship of our children? In the Bible, we find that God’s grace is the key to our own salvation (Ephesians 2:5); God’s grace is the answer to our overcoming of sin (Rom 5:20; Titus 2:11) and God’s grace  is our help in times of need (Heb. 4:16; 2 Corinthians 12:9). How much more is God’s grace available to us as parents to raise our children in the “way they should go” (Proverbs 22:6)? I once heard a speaker say, “as parents we are called to raise our children in the way they should go, and not in the Church they should go”. Although, a cutesy kind of saying, I believe there is significant truth in this statement. We are not to raise our children simply to “go to Church” on Sunday, any more than our Christian walk is to be a “Sunday only” faith. Instead, we are to disciple our children on what a living active faith looks like. We are also to raise our children according to the individual gifting that God has given to them (in His grace (Romans 12:6). God is the One who has gifted and called our children. He has simply blessed us with the chief mission of discipling them toward that calling.

Take a moment to meditate on these profound thoughts  from Experiencing God.  ”Wise parents understand God has a specific purpose for each child He gives to them…(and this purpose is) to be conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29-30). As much as we love our children, we can’t begin to imagine all God has in His heart for them (1 Corinthians 2:9). That is why, we rob our children if we merely seek to have them meet our expectations. We need to be on God’s agenda for our kid’s lives so they can experience the abundant life God intends for them. (John 10:10).

 Lord God, I pray for each one who reads these words, that we would view our children through Your grace, that we would see Your heart for our children and that we would begin to see Your call on their lives. Give us strength and grace to disciple our children with your eternal purpose in mind. For Your glory. Amen

Discipleship in your home…

When you hear the word discipleship what thoughts pop into your mind?

Is your first image of dad sitting in his chair with a large leather bible opened on his lap, “stair step” neatly dressed children (in their matching home sewn outfits!), gathered intently around him as he reads aloud from the Bible? Or are you a “checklist” personality, and when you hear the words home-discipleship,  your brain immediately creates a 10 item “To Do” list that must be done in order, completely every day?

I personally have experienced both of these forms of discipleship and survived!

 However, I gently want to encourage you to think through these preconceived ideas. Is there a specific scripture reference that outlines the 10 “to do” items that we feel must be done in our home discipleship? Or is there a picture given to us by God of exactly how discipleship should look in our homes?   In a word, No. 

 These 2 scenarios are man made rules, regulations and traditions.  God’s heart is for us, as parents, to raise our children in Him. He desires us to teach them his laws and ways (Deut. 6; Deut 11; Psalm 78; Is. 28:9; Acts 22:3). However, within this parental expectation, God has set forth the idea of our knowing the hearts, strengths, weaknesses and personalities of each our children. In Proverbs 22:6 (amplified Bible) we read, “Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it. [Eph. 6:4; II Tim. 3:15.] ” From this verse, we see God’s heart is that our children would be trained according to their individual needs, gifts, and bents and not based upon a cookie cutter mentality. Yes, there are things that all children must be taught (for example, God’s law, the fear of the Lord, obedience to God’s laws etc) However, the method by which we as parents teach our children this information, is to be determined according to our children’s learning style, personality and specific needs.

 The fascinating thing to me is that God’s call to disciple my children in His way, actually places a much greater burden on me (and Manuel) as the parents. Much like, new testament grace laying a higher standard compared to OT law (for example see Matthew 28), our understanding of discipleship according to our child(ren)’s needs is the higher standard.

Recently our family completed the “Experiencing God” Bible study together. One comment in this study really drove this point home to me. The author stated, “Wise parents understand God has a specific purpose for each child He gives to them. In as much as we love our children, we can’t begin to imagine all God has in His heart for them. That is why we rob our children if we merely seek to have them meet our expectations. We need to be on God’s agenda for our kids lives so they can experience the abundant life God intends for them (John 10:10).”

 So, I ask you, Mom:  “Is your focus on your expectations….your check list? Or even your preconceived idea of what discipleship should look like? I encourage you to pray, seek God, find His perspective on training your children. If God leads, repent. Repent to Him and to your children. Tell them you are seeking God for HIS WAY to raise them. Beloved sisters, I have taken this journey. I have repented to my children for prioritizing man’s tradition and agenda. Praise God! They forgave me and we have reestablished a discipleship relationship based on their individual bents and gifts. God is good. He has directed me over the years and I can guarantee that if YOU seek Him with your whole heart, He will also lead you in discipleship.

Later this week, I will share more thoughts on discipleship in YOUR home. 

 

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a brief testimony of our homeschool journey…

Manuel and I first heard the phrase “Lifestyle of Learning” 10 years ago. We had been homeschooling our daughter, Amanda, for one year (1st grade) and had already begun to feel burnout. I was daily dealing with tears (both hers and MINE!) as we sat in our kitchen, filling out pages after pages of worksheets, while the sun was shining and the yard was calling our name!

 As we finished our first year, a very dear friend handed us the book “The Relaxed Homeschooler” by Mary Hood. I LOVED the ideas that Mary presented, but was not able to get a handle on “relaxed homeschooling”…the entire concept created a great deal of brain “cramps” in my Type A personality! And not only mine!! My dear 1st grade daughter was also driven by externals and had lost the fun and love of learning. She actually had me buy a dinner bell, so that I could ring it when she was to switch from Math to her History workbook!

Shortly after reading the Relaxed Homeschooler, I was introduced to the idea of a “Lifestyle of Learning”! What an AHA!! Moment…Through the teachings of Marilyn Howshall, Cindy Rushton, Sally Clarkson and Barb Shelton, I began to get a vision for creating a learning environment in our  home and for making every event a learning event~but even more important than that, I began to recognize that academics was not the only reason to home educate. Academics were essentially the icing on the cake, discipling my children in the ways of the Lord was the CAKE!  Have you ever tried to frost a cake, without having baked it first? That is what I was doing in our home. I was trying to frost my cake (do academics) without training their character (baking the cake!).

What exactly is a Lifestyle of Learning?

A Lifestyle of learning is actually a term that escapes easy definition. A Lifestyle of Learning has different nuances, within the meaning. By that, I mean, that what a lifestyle of learning looks like in MY home is not what it looks like in Cindy Rushton’s home, Marilyn Howshall’s home or even YOUR home!

A lifestyle of learning is just that. Learning becomes real life–it becomes a natural extension of you and your family.
Wisdom’s Way of Learning (lifestyle of learning) is the phrase coined by Marilyn Howshall. According to her book of the same title, Marilyn defines Wisdom’s way of learning: “Wisdom’s way of learning is about seeking God for His plan for our family.” She goes on to state, “Academic education, as we know, should not be life’s goal for the Christian, rather, the goal should be discipleship to Jesus Christ.” The beautiful part of bringing a lifestyle of learning into your home is that you hear from God for your own family. Your homeschool will not look like anyone else’s! Your learning adventure will be unique to your family, your child and even possibly the season of life you are in.
Cindy Rushton shares in “Homeschooling Digging into all the Options”,
“True education begins with a strong family…..with lots of time to explore and learn on their own….with parents who really KNOW the child….with parents teaching WHO they are and what they know. Yes if we want our children to have a real education, then we must forsake the myths of education and step up to the call to disciple our children each and every day of their life.”

The KEY to a successful Lifestyle of learning is going to God for His plan and direction for our children…..His scope and sequence. Barb Shelton, comments that “God has given each parent an internal scope and sequence.” He has a plan for each of our children, and has given us, as their parents, the perfect scope and sequence for each of our children.

Our children mature at different levels, have different learning styles, different spiritual gifts and different capabilities. By spending time with God for each of our children, we will hear His scope and sequence and follow His plan for our children! In our home, a relationship with Jesus Christ is our #1 priority, followed by “working out our salvation with fear and trembling”. Our children are taught character, respect and what the Bible says about holy living, within the context of their relationship with Jesus Christ.
THEN we focus on academic learning, based on prayerfully seeking God for His direction.

Sound lofty? Yes, I guess it does…but in the day to day living, its really not! It is simply an extension of who we are as parents. Praying for our children, simply takes on a different role. We begin to see God as the ultimate “life coach” for each of our children and seek to work with Him in preparing our children for the role(s) He has for them.

Does a lifestyle of learning mean you  don’t do formal academics?

Absolutely NOT! Academics are still a very real part of our day. However, academics in our home is not “the main thing”. We chose to “master” the curriculum that we use, rather than allowing it to master us. What does that mean exactly? Mastering curriculum in our home, simply means, that we prayerfully decide which curriculum TOOL our child(ren) need for the upcoming year. After purchasing this curriculum, we plan how to use it that best fits our children. Some books are used orally, or only parts of the books are used to help the children master a weak area. We may use all the curriculum, but on a different schedule than the publisher gives. Our use of curriculum is simply a tool to develop in our children, what the Lord gives us for our children.
Manuel and I pray together and separately for our children, for God’s plan for their life, for wisdom to know how to prepare our children for His call on their life. With that in mind, we begin praying about which curriculum to use for each season. In the past 8 years we have been amazed at His faithfulness in answering these simple prayers from a parent’s heart. Not only has He given us direction, but He has also provided the resources. For us, we have found that academics are a simply a tool~ much like a hammer is utilized to build a house, .when it is all said and done, you do not look at the hammer….all eyes are on the house!! Why as parents must we get so overly focused on the hammer??

For our family, a lifestyle of learning has been one of tremendous growth and learning~not only the children but especially for Manuel and me! Marilyn Howshall once stated, that “homeschooling was more about developing the parent’s character than the children’s” and I would absolutely agree with that. Our home is simply an extension of the plan God has for our family. His plan, His purpose, His Scope and Sequence!
Lord, give us grace for the task and joy in the journey~~

More thoughts on Discipleship

In my last post, I referenced Sally Clarkson’s book, Season’s of A Mother’s Heart. If you have not had the opportunity to read it, I highly encourage you to find a copy and let it minister to your heart. This is an amazing book—one that I have read and reread many times. My copy is literally falling apart, but with all of the margin notes and journaling I have done, it is irreplaceable!

 

Previously, I wrote introductory thoughts on having a “discipleship lifestyle”.

 Have you ever considered what a lifestyle of discipleship would look like in YOUR home?

I encourage you to take a minute, prayerfully and with your journal in hand and ask yourself these questions:
To me, what does “discipleship” mean?

What does discipleship look like in my home?

How often does this occur in my home?

Now that you have taken a couple minutes to evaluate your home and family, I want to encourage you in a couple areas. First, what is discipleship? According to Webster’s 1828 dictionary, discipleship means “the state of a disciple or follower in doctrines and precepts”. The noun disciple refers to “one who is a learner, a follower” and the verb tense means to “teach, train, bring up”

How many of us can attest to the fact that our children are followers? It seems a only a few short years ago, that Amanda and Jackson hung on my every word. When Jack was a baby, Amanda would often carry around her baby doll, mimicking every move I made in the care of her younger brother. As she grew, she would don her apron and join me in the kitchen, learning how to knead bread and bake cookies. Imitating mom was not a lesson I had to teach to Amanda, it was simply “wired” into her very being.

 

Of course, these are physical examples, but think for a minute about the spiritual application. 

Do your children see you at worship and prayer—privately or in a corporate setting?

Do they imitate you? Not in a forced, this is how we worship way, rather in a “ok, this is how its done way”. When children are  young, they learn from us, how important the Word of God is in our own personal lives, based upon what they see us doing. Do they see you prioritizing your time in prayer? Do they see you prioritizing reading of the Bible (or listening on CD/MP3?)  Do they observe you in Church? What do they observe you doing in Church? Are you attentive? After service, do you edify your pastor on the trip home or do you criticize his message? Are you more concerned with what songs were sung in service or who the song leader/worship team was?

Dear One, discipleship occurs in our home whether we have actively planned it or not. And I would venture to say that the lessons we teach our children in our day to day activities are those that have the greatest impact on them.

 Secondly, according to Webster’s dictionary, the active form of disciple is to teach/train/bring up. Looking at the questions above, what would you say, YOU are teaching your children? In your day to day activities, what things are they learning? Please hear my heart…my intent is not to criticize you, but instead, I desire to encourage you in the thought, that discipleship in your home does not need to be a rigid program or curriculum…it even does not need to be a checklist on the refrigerator!! The discipling of our children occurs every day in every way. Yes, at times, there needs to be some intentionality in our discipleship, however, much of what we teach our children occurs as we “sit in our home, walk (drive!) along the road, when we lie down and when we get up” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

 Deuteronomy 6 is an oft quoted verse in the homeschool movement, however, I ask you to take a moment and look at the first part of verse 6.  “These words that I am giving to you today are to be in your heart”…where are these words to be located? In OUR hearts…and what are the words he is referring to? As we look back at Deuteronomy 5, God had just given the Israelites the 10 commandments and he begins Deuteronomy 6 with the command for the people to follow the 10 commandments so that they may prosper and multiply…but then he says these amazing words in verse 5, “LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength”. God has given us the 10 commandments, so that we may prosper, multiply, but most importantly so that we may LOVE Him. Before you make memorizing the 10 commandments the newest check point on your “discipleship check list” I want you to go back and read Deuteronomy 6:6. Who is God speaking instructing to put the 10 commandments in their heart? Yep, it is us as their parents. Now, there is nothing wrong with our kids memorizing the 10 commandments, however, please keep in mind, that God is directing these words to us, their parents. I love how the Holman Christian Standard Bible records verses 6-7, “These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart.  Repeat them to your children…” Repeat them to your children…I love the sound of this. First, it implies that children learn by hearing things over and over (Mom, can you relate? How many times do you find yourself telling your children to do the same thing? Over and Over and Over again it seems!) Repeat them to your children. Repeat them. Repeat them verbally and dare I suggest, repeat them in your actions through out the day. In the words of St. Augustine, “Preach the gospel always and if necessary use words”.

Discipleship

“Discipleship is a life, not a lesson”

Sally Clarkson, Season’s of A Mother’s Heart

As parents, (homeschooling or non-homeschooling) our greatest “call” is to raise our children for Christ. In Psalm 139, we are reassured that God is intimately involved in creation of each of us and I truly believe that this includes God designating the parents of each life that is given. Have you ever considered the idea that YOU are specifically chosen to raise the child that He has placed into your home?

There are a multitude of verses in the Bible that speak to parents on the teaching of our children and it is not my intent to lay this foundation. If you are unsure of what the Bible says to you as a Mom, I strongly encourage you to stop reading now and grab your Bible, highlighter and concordance and look up the word, “children” “teach” and “train”. This may take several days, but will be well worth your time and effort, as you seek God for HIS instructions for your home. If you don’t have access to a concordance, use the internet. There are several online concordances available (http://www.biblegateway.com/; www.bible.crosswalk.com )

My purpose in writing to you today is to encourage you to seek GOD for His discipleship plan for YOUR family. There are a great number of teachers and curriculum writers, who will tell you this is THE WAY to disciple your family. Through creative advertising and “absolute” statements they will imply (or even straight out say) that if you follow a specific method or plan, then your child will have the right character or even will be surely saved. Listen very carefully to my heart here…there are many good resources available to us as we disciple our children (although the Bible is the very best one!). These can freely be used as a tool in our home to organize our teaching time, or to give us ideas on making the lessons fun and memorable. However, we must be very very careful to seek God on what tools to use. While, I sincerely do believe, that God will honor us as parents as we seek Him in the training of our children, and our children may do well in staying faithful to the call He has on their lives…I also am seeing an alarming number of children who have been raised in the Church (and even homeschooled!) that are forsaking God when they reach adulthood. As I talk to these young adults and their parents, I am finding that a significant number of them, have bought into the lies that our children’s outward behavior is the “fruit” of our child training. What I mean by this is the idea that if our children dress a certain way, can quote x number of scripture, etc. then they are “holy, righteous and obedient to God.”

Is this what God says?

In John 7:24, Jesus tells the religious people, “to stop judging according to outward appearances” (hcsb) and in 1st Samuel 16:7, the LORD says to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or his stature, because I have rejected him. Man does not see what the LORD sees, for man sees what is visible, but the LORD sees the heart.” Often times, it appears that as parents, we become obsessed about our children look to others and how they represent us (our homeschooling—OUCH!) and totally lose sight of their hearts and how their hearts are toward God. Yes, Proverbs does tell us that “even a child is known by his actions”, however, I would like to suggest that as parents, it is our responsibility to “know” the heart of our child and how that is reflected in the actions of our children…as parents, we must strive to be aware of the actions of our children and prayerfully discern their heart. The root word in this verse for “known” is defined as “observe, perceive, understand and scrutinize”. To know our child’s behavior implies that we are proactive in assessing the behavior and what is at the root of their behavior and this is where true discipleship occurs!

True discipleship is not a method or checklist where we have an agenda in mind…true discipleship occurs when we, as loving parents, know our children, know their hearts and seek to train them according to God’s word and standard.

I have much more to say on this….so will add more thoughts later this week…as this one is long enough for a weekend